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My car Sat Nav Options
roymattblack
#1 Posted : 16 July 2019 11:54:56

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I have a little Sat Nav it sits there in my car
A Sat Nav is a drivers friend It tells you where you are.
I’ve had this little Sat Nav, all my adult life
It’s better than a normal one, my Sat Nav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions especially how I drive
“It’s 60 miles an hour,” it says, “You’re doing 65”.
It tells me when to stop and start and when to use the brake
and tells me when it’s never ever safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front and all those to the rear
and taking this into account it specifies my gear.
I’m sure no other driver has so helpful a device
for when we leave and lock the car it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey‘s pretty fraught
so why don’t I exchange it and get a quieter sort.
Ah well you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things and keeps me warm in bed.
But despite all these advantages and my tendency to scoff
I do wish that once in a while I could turn the damn thing off.


(Not mine - I can't take credit)
andali15
#2 Posted : 16 July 2019 12:02:12

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Made my wife laugh. Andy.
CaptnBirdseye
#3 Posted : 16 July 2019 12:36:43

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LOL BigGrin LOL It did make me chuckle
Definitely describes mine LOL BigGrin LOL
Steve1701
#4 Posted : 16 July 2019 13:17:01

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Very good. And how true. Lol
Markwarren
#5 Posted : 16 July 2019 18:55:38

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Very good, sounds like we’ve all got one Crying

MarkLOL
Martyn Ingram
#6 Posted : 16 July 2019 19:46:28

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BigGrin I think I have the same model LOL LOL it did make me laugh Cool
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kpnuts
#7 Posted : 16 July 2019 21:12:37

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She must have been taught by my wife, mine actually warns me about trees and lamp posts (although I've yet to see one jump into the road) she still informs me to watch that tree or lamp post, she must know a dodgy looking tree, one that's likely to jump out, I just thank God she's in the car with me to warn me, I'm always scared driving past trees and lamp post when she's not with me.
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delboy271155
#8 Posted : 17 July 2019 16:43:35

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Confused Confused Confused

Simple solution.

Buy a real Satnav and explain to the version above that you can`t hear the directions. Then as you hear that whistling noise remember to duck before the slap around the head arrives.

LOL Flapper LOL Flapper LOL


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delboy271155
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nightwisher
#9 Posted : 17 July 2019 21:07:32

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I think your all very brave I presume your other halves don't read your posts BigGrin
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CaptnBirdseye
#10 Posted : 17 July 2019 21:09:55

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I sent it to mine. She agreed that it does actually describe her to a tee BigGrin
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